Her Private Life Episodes 3-4: A Chatty Recap

It’s week two of our fangirling journey, and I wouldn’t want any other leader besides Sung Deok Mi! She not only handles meeting her idol with poise and grace (okay, one shower slip up, but who can blame her?), she also protects him when a scandal breaks out. Fortunately for us, she needs the help of one very handsome lion to save her and her idol from disaster.

High Touch for One

Kmuse: This whole scene was perfection. I couldn’t stop laughing from Lion Gold’s confusion over Deok Mi’s intensity to her accidentally getting soaked by the shower while she was fangirling. But, in true Deok Mi fashion, she was able to have her fangirl meltdown without letting anyone know she is Si An’s #1 fan. I love this girl.

Karie the Maknae: Holy crap, I don’t know how the girl held it in — but I’m glad she did. I don’t do secondhand embarrassment well, but I didn’t have to! Deok Mi is just perfect.

Clkytta: I about died when she got soaked in the shower. The look of bliss from being in her idol’s home, surrounded by his things fades to horror as she manages to douse herself. Honestly, she feels like one of our fangirls, I could totally one of us doing something equally embarrassing.

MiataMama: How she did not just melt into a puddle of goo, after watching her bias walk out of the bathroom while toweling off his wet hair, is completely beyond me! Shower accident aside, Deok Mi’s ability to stay composed is totally off the charts.

Kdrama Jen: I laughed SO much during the the shower scene.  I was watching in bed and I was laughing so much it woke up my husband.  I think it is just that I can see myself doing exactly this kind of thing.  Clkytta nailed it.  This is totally what one of us would do! I love that she was trying so hard to be composed, but her expressions were completely misinterpreted by Ryan.

Drama Geek: I would like to think that I would be as professional as Deok Mi managed to pull off, but I’m pretty sure I’d just have a huge dorky grin on my face the entire time.

Kmuse: Oooh, I can’t mention this personal fangirl moment without commenting on how cute Deok Mi and Seon Joo reenacting the experience to the dismay of Seon Joo’s husband. I can so relate.

Clkytta: You never grow to old to fangirl over your idol, never.

Kdrama Jen: I have seen this same expression on my husband’s face as he listens to us chatting or podcasting.  I appreciate that in my case there is more support than exasperation, though!

Is Si An Worth Fangirling Over?

Kmuse: Si An is so amazingly boring. Not the character but the actor. Well, maybe a mix of the character and the actor. Compared to everyone else, this supposed super famous idol is as bland as unseasoned chicken. So much so, that we chatted in depth of all the idol actors who could have brought life to the character. Needless to say, I have no clue as to why she fangirls over him.

Karie the Maknae: I have to disagree with Kmuse. At the end of episode 4, when Si An was swimming across Ryan Gold’s floor made me laugh SO HARD. I think our little idol is going to grow on me. Also, I totally missed out on the idol-actor discussion! Stinkin’ real life getting in the way AGAIN.

Clkytta: I’m underwhelmed by Si An. Yes, him swimming across the floor was kind of funny, but he feels very generic at the moment, not worth risking life, limb, and reputation over. I’m hoping for the writers to give him a bit more depth and maybe give us an awesome Bromance.

MiataMama: It’s pretty obvious which famous K-pop idol this character is supposed to be channeling. . . but whether it’s the writing, or the acting, or both, I agree that Si An falls a little flat. Hopefully there will be an outpouring of some (much needed) charisma, soon!

Kdrama Jen: I think I missed that conversation too, Maknae!  I actually love that Si An is played as kind of nothing special except in the eyes of his fans.  How many of us have experienced this same reaction?  Deok Mi captures a different side of Si An in her photos and it reminds me of the way I appreciate some of my favorite Kpop group members in a different way because I have watched so many behind the scenes videos or watched them on Vlive.  I am 100% identifying with Deok Mi in this, so I am enjoying how there is a contrast between the way she sees her idol and how we see him.  Maybe it is bad acting or maybe it is part of the plan…  

Drama Geek: Before his drunk swim session, I was completely with Kmuse, but I do think he has protentional to grow as a character. Part of the disconnect for me is that Park Min Young is fangirling over this guy. She is so amazing that I’m pretty sure One would turn her shower on by accident, if he was given the chance.

So NOT Her Brother

Kmuse: I have conflicted feelings when it comes to the brother-not-brother. First, he is really deliciously handsome. I like him a lot and find his interaction with Deok Me very sibling-like. Yes, I can see where there is some one sided crushing going on, but for the most part they have a really solid relationship. I personally hope they don’t lose that as the story progresses.

Karie the Maknae: Ah, our one-sided second lead love. I really like him, but Seon Joo is right — if he wants to move forward, he has GOT to let go of the fake brother-sister relationship. Maybe he’s afraid of what would happen if he did, but if he really wants a chance with Deok Mi, he’s got to overcome that. Also, did anyone catch that his mom is the editor of an art magazine? I wonder if that’s going to come into play down the road.

Clkytta: I love Not the Brother. He’s hot, he loves her parents, but he’s not really a second lead contender. Is it wrong that I kind of want him to fall for Cindy?

MiataMama: Oh, poor Not Brother. I REALLY wish writer-nim had made him her honest-to-goodness brother. More sibling hijinxs!! I absolutely do NOT want the angsty, second-lead heartbreak that is already bearing down on us like a white, truck of doom.

Kdrama Jen:  I am glad he is not her brother.  Some of his longing looks made me just a bit uncomfortable when I thought they were related.  I can get behind a sibling-like relationship.  I am not jumping on this ship, though.  It is just so clear that she sees him only as a brother.

Drama Geek: I almost wish that Seon Joo was a single mom. I would totally ship her with Not Brother. I can see the heartbreak he’s in for, and my only consolation is that Ryan is a great guy, and not a jerkwad that she’s ignoring this great guy for.

When Fangirls Attack

Kmuse: I would not have been as understanding as Deok Me was in this situation. It’s all well and good being a Fangirl, but when that addiction leads to harming others… there is something VERY wrong.

Karie the Maknae: That fangirl attack was scary–paintball pellets HURT. I really don’t understand their reasoning, but then again, I’ve always been on the fringes of fangirl culture. On the other hand, I was having major SLS when Not Brother was protecting Deok Me from the eggs. Also, major props to Deok Mi for forgiving them. Her understanding of them just adds to her amazingness.

Clkytta: The paintballs freaked me out! That was so scary and just plain WRONG. I’d be prosecuting to the full extent. I would not be understanding, not at all, they knew she would be hurt. She’s a way better person than I am.

MiataMama: Not cool, fangirls, not cool. Apparently, they have not been able to move through the five stages of “Your Bias is Dating” as fast as our girl Deok Mi.

Kdrama Jen: I love that Deok Mi could understand the level of obsession (if not the violence) and also realized how she could likely make a bigger impression on them by being forgiving.  This is the difference between younger fans and more mature fans.  Deok Mi fangirls, but she does it from a more respectful distance.  I think her age and experience allows her to be this way.  For these younger girls, I think their infatuation with their idol has caused them to break from reality a bit.  They truly saw this as a betrayal, so they reacted like jealous girlfriends.  I am not saying it is right, but I do appreciate that Deok Mi was understanding.

Drama Geek: I’m in the middle. I think this behavior needs to be stopped within fandoms, but I’m not sure her prosecuting them would have accomplished that. I’m also not sure about the age thing being the only factor. I’ve seen some pretty toxic fan behavior from all age groups.

Where Did This Kid Come From?

Drama Geek: Lee Seon Joo’s son was cracking me up this week. He’s mostly just been passed around so far, but every time he was onscreen this week, I couldn’t stop laughing. I love his mom’s relationship with Deok Mi, but I’m starting to wonder about that marriage of hers. I think they might be headed for fangirl spillover problems. *Just to clarify* I don’t think she’s the only factor in their marriage being a bit iffy. I think he works for an entertainment magazine (probably like Dispatch?) and is gone a lot. She’s a great mom, and seems to get her enjoyment from helping her friend out. I just think they married because she got pregnant and they aren’t exactly the most involved in each other’s lives.

Kmuse: Balancing a Fangirl lifestyle and marriage can be very difficult. It seems like Seon Joo is having some serious issues creating the right balance. That said, her kid really is stinking cute.

Karie the Maknae: Agreed on the marriage relationship — I can see where Seon Joo maybe feels like she lost out on something when she got married and had a kid early(ish), but I want her to be more present for her husband and kid. Also, Geun Woo was HILARIOUS. I love his expressions and his willingness to fall down on command and the fact that he kept calling Not Brother Mr. Soy Sauce. This kid is CUTE.

Clkytta: I love the son. He’s adorable. I see her friend’s relationship a little differently. I think her husband has always been fully aware of her obsession. She’s a good mom and a good friend. I think the husband has something to do with the entertainment industry too? So I feel like he gets exasperated with her, but he’s amazingly tolerant.

MiataMama: I actually rewound to watch him dive to the mat a second time– it was super cute! I am a bit worried about Seon Joon though. . . I can say from experience, that it’s tricky – finding that balance between fangirling with your bestie(s) and being present for your family. I hope she makes good choices!

Kdrama Jen:  He is adorable.  I thought the Dad was involved in police work for some reason.  Doesn’t he get called into work quite a bit?  Anyway, it seems like he is gone a lot and Seon Joo is doing her best to maintain a career, family, and still fit in some fangirling.  I think she has a really strong support system and that is incredible important if you want to maintain the balance between fangirling and family.

Long Lost Brothers?

Drama Geek: There have been lots of comments about Si An and Ryan looking alike. Then you have their common interest in the same mysterious artist. Top that with a drunk Si An stumbling into his house, and starting a bromance in the coming episodes, and I think it’s pretty clear they’re probably connected.

Karie the Maknae: Oooooh. That’s something I hadn’t thought of, but I’m always down for a good bromance. I *was* wondering if the mystery artist, Lee Sol, is Ryan Gold’s mother.

MiataMama: Karie the Maknae has apparently been reading my mind. I’m also thinking Lee Sol is the missing mom. And I’m totally on board with a bromance, or an actual brother relationship, between the two ‘An’ boys.

Kmuse: This is probably my least favorite part of the story so far. I don’t really care about the two men’s secret birth relationship. But judging from the constant connections between the two, including the fact they have the same love of designer clothing and art, we are going to get the brotherly aspect whether we want it or not.

Clkytta: I’m sure that Lee Sol is Ryan’s mother. I think that he’s going to become a mentor for Si An, but I’m not sure about the brother aspect. I think we are seeing so many similarities with the two of them because they do have a lot in common, and I’m betting that Si An falls for his #1 fangirl to further complicate things.

Kdrama Jen: I totally missed any secret birth story references.  I will take my props for figuring out the brother-not brother thing last week and just sit back and wait.  I am mostly watching this for the fangirl validation and the smexy scenes with Lion, so I will just enjoy the ride for now.

Momma Needs a Fan

Drama Geek: Holy hotness, that photoshoot turned spicy fast. Park Min Young has never failed to have chemistry with her co-star, at least after she came of age. There’s that weird one where she gets with her teacher that doesn’t count. Anyway, Kim Jae Wook sure brought the sizzle when he was asked to loosen up. When his hand dropped onto the back wall I gasped. I think I need to watch that again for research purposes.

Karie the Maknae: Agreed, Mr. Lion knows how to bring it. The chemistry between him and Deok Mi is palpable, and I’m torn between wanting to enjoy the journey and having them GET TOGETHER ALREADY. *deep breath* Patience, Maknae, patience!

Kmuse: I 100% loved this scene. So much chemistry jumping off the screen. Now that they have started us with skinship I demand that we get it every episode.

Clkytta: So MUCH chemistry! They start off all cold and stilted and then wowsers!!! Their body language there at the end was explosive; there were sparks sparking everywhere! I loved it when he suddenly surrounded her and pulled her in close. Where’s my fan?!

MiataMama: I take back what I said last week. Ryan is not cold. Most definitely NOT cold. We need a kiss scene – stat!

Kdrama Jen: Oh, MY!!!!!!  They sizzle.  There is a reason Park Min Young is my #1.  I agree about the research, Drama Geek.  You all know how I love research of this kind! 

Our Protective Lion

Drama Geek: Drama writers, are you paying attention? Ryan Gold is hitting ALL of my swoon buttons. Yes, he came off a bit cold and bossy in the first episode, but that exterior dropped much faster than most. He spent all of episodes three and four trying to protect his employee from hateful fans, and protect her imaginary lesbian relationship.

Kmuse: I am really enjoying the fact that Ryan Gold is comfortable enough to admit his mistakes and keep on going forward. His protective feelings towards Deok Mi are the icing on the cake. I laughed so much in the scene that he yelled they were dating and then had to face the embarrassing car ride home right after. Comedic gold.

Clkytta: I like how they are dealing with this; he’s protective, but not overbearing or pushy. He’s worried about someone hurting her, and he should, those fangirls are crazy cats!! Respect is sexy, and he’s very respectful toward her.

MiataMama: I really do appreciate that his inner softie surfaced so quickly. AND that he doesn’t let his pride keep him from apologizing when needed. Yep, my heart is melting just as fast as his icy exterior.

Kdrama Jen: He is sweet and kind of awkward, yet he has this aloof exterior.  That is a combination that is sure to win me over.  I am on board this ship and looking forward to more!

Final Thoughts

Karie the Maknae: The pacing of this drama has been perfect. I’m loving all the characters that have been set up, and that we’ve already got obstacles that are being overcome and mysterious backgrounds being hinted at. Looks like Park Min Young has picked another drama that’s gonna hit it out over the bleachers.

Kmuse: I have heard people complain about not enjoying this drama. And to be honest, I think there is some validity to that. If fangirling, and all it entails, is not your thing I don’t think this is the drama for you. That said, I am loving every minute of it and can’t wait for more.  

Clkytta: I agree with Kmuse, if you aren’t a fangirl you may not enjoy or relate to many of the aspects. But, as someone who has traveled cross-country to meet internet friends and attend a concert where the group doesn’t speak English as a first language, I can tell you that I’m loving this drama. Add in the chemistry between our leads and I’m buckled in for the long haul.

MiataMama: I love following Deok Mi’s journey in this drama. Is it Wednesday yet?!

Kdrama Jen: I know not everyone is enjoying this show, and I can agree with some of the complaints I see on social media about it feeling like a Secretary Kim knock-off (especially if we get a shared tragic backstory with Si An as a long-lost brother), BUT…  I am enjoying this so much because of the way it is depicting the struggles and realities of life as a mature fangirl.  Also, I love the relationships in this show.  The relationship between Deok Mi and her bestie is simply awesome and makes me wish my fellow fangirls did not live on the other side of the country.  The relationship between Deok Mi and Ryan is also beginning to grow, and I like where it is heading.  It is not without flaws, but if you are a Kpop fan or Kdrama fan, it is easy to relate to Deok Mi and in some ways it brings a certain level of comfort. I can’t explain it, but this drama makes me happy.  

Drama Geek: My Twitter feed is full of Kim Jae Wook love, so I have not seen the people who aren’t liking it. I think a lot of people are just ecstatic about him being in a rom-com and killing it. He’s so likeable and funny. The fangirling is relatable and done with respect, so I am completely enjoying that part of it. I hope that as they grow closer together the backstory stuff doesn’t take over that part of the drama. I love Deok Mi just the way she is.

Until the Next Scandal,

The Fangirls

Drama With a Side of Kimchi


6 thoughts on “Her Private Life Episodes 3-4: A Chatty Recap

  1. I enjoyed the flat out sadness he had when he discussed his adoption. I think that part might be coming up again later in the series. As for the rest, I like a serious workplace, a good friend group and an understandable family so – I’m enjoying it so far! Hate that chaebol boss’s bangs, though!

  2. I am also loving this drama! I often don’t keep up with airing dramas because I’m too impatient (and because a story creates a “place” in my mind and it’s hard to switch gears), but watching and chatting about this one as it goes is the best!!!

    I have thoughts on why our idol has been a bit bland in the first four episodes. As someone who’s fan-focus is (okay, it’s weird but true) narrative structure and writing, I present the following argument that our narrative structure demands that he begin as a sort of neutral blank slate.

    There are two reasons.

    First, we are being told that fandom is about friendship and connection in a community. The idol is the focus that bring them together, but who he is doesn’t matter as much as the community that forms around him. He is a persona that fans’ dreams and feelings are projected onto, and doesn’t exist to the fandom in the same way as a person in the community does.

    They show this first and foremost in the sismance: their friendship doesn’t depend on him, but their shared fandom enriches their bond. It’s the sharing that’s important, though, not who the idol is. It could be anything! (Knitting and rock polishing come to mine ;P )

    The idea of the idol as the focal point of a community is emphasized in the way the chats are presented: he becomes the art piece that all the fans are gathered around. We see them talking in a setting that is very real (with the actual characters talking rather than just text exchanges), but the idol remains as a piece of art. They come together and interpret him, but it is always only his image/persona, not him as a person.

    The second reason I think they’re presenting him the way they do is because of our female lead’s potential character arc. The narrative demands one of course, but she isn’t lacking anything: she’s widely recognized in her field as being great at her job; she earns good money; she has a good family and they aren’t in debt; she has friends and a life she’s happy with. Although she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she isn’t sad about that.

    So, arc-wise, I think her only option is to come to some sort of realization about fandom. Having the idol go from neutral persona to real/flawed person (in her eyes) is going to be part of that. I don’t think she’ll reject him as an idol or a person, but I think that having him go from “neutral art piece” to “full human being” in her eyes is going to allow for some potentially interesting character growth.

    • Wow, you really thought that through. LOL. I agree with you 100%. It’ll be interesting to see him become more of a person to her.

    • This is a nice analysis. When you said that it’s his image and not the person, I suddenly remember that Deok Mi has actually been fangirling diff groups at diff stages of her life. So it may really be just in her system to fangirl so it doesn’t matter if the idol as a person is just bland. I’m really interested to see where this drama will take the idol character.

      I’m really enjoying this drama (as much as I’ enjoying your recaps) and getting good laughs out of it. I also appreciate the mature conversation bet our leads. The outlook of Deok Mi in life is actually inspiring. So even if she fangirls on a hard core level, I don’t see the need to worry about her. She has a good head on her shoulders.

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